Logic & Sanity

Sincerity defined

If Byron Barriteau's DNA wasn't enough to convict him of a vicious home invasion, then the 14-page confession he sent his victim from Rikers Island certainly sealed his fate.

In the handwritten missive to 71-year-old Leonnie Cummings, Barriteau admitted to the crime, asked for forgiveness and begged her not to testify against him, the Daily News has learned.

"Is there any chance that you can please find some compassion in your heart for me and forgive me and my actions?" Barriteau, 30, wrote from his cell in March.

He added: "The only way you can possibly help me is not to take the stand at the time of trial."

Aw, but what can be more sincere then a jailed felon politely asking his victim not to testify?

Tatiana got robbed

A popular Russian restaurant in Brooklyn was robbed yesterday morning by an armed strongman who made off with as much as $100,000, police sources told the Daily News.

The general manager was alone at Tatiana Restaurant in Brighton Beach when a masked man sneaked in through a rear door about 8:30 a.m., demanded cash and brandished a gun, sources said.

Manager Leo Blinder, 59, wrestled the gunman and forced him to drop his weapon.

But the thief then pulled a knife and slashed at Blinder.

The thief stole the restaurant's holiday proceeds - which police sources estimated to be $100,000 in cash - grabbed his gun off the floor and fled.

That's an easy one to solve. Look at the bus boys who have recently quit. Then again, they already hopped a plane to Moscow by now...

A not so "happy ending"

The tourist and Neely - the alleged "true stunning blonde bombshell" named Tiffany - began arguing over the meaning of "full service massage" and the fact that Neely did not resemble the woman in the ad, which advertised her as "5 feet 5 with a toned petite body," police said.

Eventually, Neely said she was willing to perform a massage with a "happy ending" for $300, police said.

The tourist refused.

As he tried to leave the room, Lang emerged from the closet and leaped on his back while Neely kicked and punched him, police said.

The tourist had several bruises, cuts and lumps on his face, police said.

They "don't see this as robbery. They believe they're entitled to the money whether it's for an hour or a second. There's no backing out," the source explained, adding the women freely admitted to resorting to violence whenever there is a dispute over services rendered or not rendered.

Heh... I don't see why prostitution can't be legal. Regulate it. Tax it. Why not?

Wrong haul?

From today's Page Six:

THE clueless thieves who burglarized several apartments in a posh building on East 54th Street in March passed up paintings worth a fortune in favor of small change and far less valuable jewelry, sources say. The burglars who broke into art collector Michel Cox Witmer's penthouse passed up works by Rothko, Picasso, Kandinsky and Courbet. "The place was left dirty, but the masterpieces were untouched," said a source. Last week, paintings by the likes of Rothko and Warhol fetched upwards of $70 million at auction.

Clueless or not, but it would be a whole lot harder to move a Picasso then some jewelry. You can hold it for ransom, ofcourse, but that would get too messy...

Slavery on Long Island

A "monstrous" millionaire couple from Long Island's Gold Coast kept two Indonesian women as slaves for five years in their tony estate-turned-house of horrors - until one victim was found wandering the street half-naked this week muttering, "Master," authorities said yesterday.

The details are pretty bad:

Less than a mile away, authorities said, was what had become her hell on earth: an antiques-stuffed, cedar-shakers mansion where she was beaten with brooms and rolling pins, repeatedly sliced on the ears with a paring knife, starved and forced to sleep on the kitchen floor.

That photo is of the perp. Good luck pleading innocent with that face, lady!

Killed over playstation

A Cal State Fresno student from Hayward shot three men -- killing one -- after getting in a fight over a video game console at an apartment near campus, police said Tuesday.

Jonquel Brooks, 19, a criminology major, was booked on suspicion of murder and felony assault after he surrendered to Fresno police early Tuesday, Fresno Police Chief Jerry Dyer said. Brooks is being held in lieu of $3 million bail.

The incident began, Dyer said, when four men went to Brooks' apartment and got into a confrontation with him over a Sony PlayStation console shortly after 11 p.m. Monday. All five men involved live in the University Village apartment complex.

The article doesn't go into the detail regarding the motive, but if they were playing Tekken and the victim was using Eddy, then the per's lawyer can claim mitigating circumstances.

Refusing to become a victim

AUGUSTA - A man who police said broke into a U.S. Army officer's south Augusta house to steal guns was fatally shot Wednesday by the soldier living there.

Errol Lavar Royal, 29, of Augusta was pronounced dead at Medical College of Georgia Hospital at about 6:45 p.m. Wednesday. Augusta police said he resided with his parents near the burglarized home in the Pepperidge subdivision.

Capt. Barre Bollinger, an Iraq war veteran, told police he returned from work about 3:30 p.m. and found his house had been ransacked, said Richmond County sheriff's Investigator Thomas Johnson.

Bollinger told police he entered his bedroom and noticed some of his guns were missing.

He grabbed his SKS rifle - a weapon similar to an AK-47 assault rifle - and called 911, Johnson said.

"While on the phone with 911, he sees the suspect approaching his back door. Because he believes the man now is armed with his stolen weapons, Mr. Bollinger fires at him three times," Johnson said.

Royal was shot at least twice in the stomach area. A search of his residence produced two guns taken from Bollinger's house, the investigator said. The search also turned up some marijuana.

So, that's what hapens to perps who commit crime against armed citizens! Perhaps Cho's bodycount at Virginia Tech would've been much, much lower if not for the idiotic ban on legal guns on its campus?

Hold mah beer.......

From today's NY Post's NYPD crime blotter:

Police arrested an East Williamsburg man who attacked his neighbor after getting drunk, authorities said.

Arturo Pea, 34, had several beers with Lazaro Ramirez early Sunday in their Grand Street building. While they were drinking, Pea revealed his frustrations about his ex-wife remarrying and how he felt the need to go out and start a fight, police said.

Ramirez said he wasn't interested in joining his friend, which further enraged Pea, the sources said.

Pea then broke a beer bottle and slashed the victim's chin and chest, they said. Police arrested Pea in his home at about 4:40 a.m.

Ramirez was rushed to Bellevue Hospital, where he was listed in stable condition.

Foot & Mouth

Falling to his knees on a subway train, a young Brooklyn man allegedly grabbed the feet of scores of female straphangers - kissing and licking them until the women screamed.

Wow! What are the chances of that? Scores of women and all are screamers, not a single moaner! This guy should play the lotto.

Heroina

One of the adorable puppies cruelly turned into a drug courier by Colombian heroin smugglers is getting revenge - she was adopted by cops and will be trained to sniff out narcotics traffickers.

The playful Rottweiler, nicknamed Heroina, is one of 10 dogs discovered in a raid on a squalid veterinary clinic in Medellin a year ago.

Drug pushers had cut open their bellies, filled them with packets of liquid smack and stitched them up again, hoping to put the pups on flights to New York.

Heroina, who had two 1-pound plastic drug packets surgically implanted in her belly, spent two months recovering from the ordeal.

Hah! Nice nickname. Wish I thought of that first, though :(